Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Overwhelmed

I am incredibly gullible.

Let me clarify:

Every time someone tells me something new (to me) I am skeptical about where they learned it.
Did they personally do the research on this topic from multiple sources, or are they expressing an opinion because it is only based on their own (or so-and-so's) experience/story?
I'm very disbelieving of people's ability to be 100% honest. I think they embellish aspects and/or paint a glossy/gruesome picture for the reaction it receives.

I'm quite skeptical of persons in general.

However, the printed word has a different effect on me.

I read information of all kinds every single day.
Billboards, Internet, magazines, street signs, mail, etc.

I learned to read when I was 4. I could read chapter books (even if I couldn't understand all the words used or follow the story line) in kindergarten. I still have a memory of me reading Little House on the Prairie by Laura Ingles Wilder at a table in the kindergarten classroom and the assistant teacher expressing her amazement by my ability to read it.
My pride in reading was intensified by my father who told all of us kids that we could learn anything we wanted to by reading a book because someone, somewhere had written about it. So learning to read was the most important thing you could ever do. It was empowerment.

I think I subconsciously attached to that lesson that if a) someone had written a book about a subject for others to read then b) what was written must be true.
We often read scripture together as a family while I was growing up. Being taught to believe what was written in the scriptures as true intensified this subconscious belief of mine. And of course, textbooks/manuals/lesson books from school also encouraged this belief.

Newspapers were true because they were published every day and contained the "news" in a report format so you knew what was happening in the world.
Price tags told you how much you would have to pay to get something you wanted.

I believed the written word around me was true because of these examples.

The only books that were not true were those within the children's books and/or fiction section of the library. They were labeled as fiction. So you knew before reading them that it was make-believe. No worries.

The written word still carries a subconscious belief of mine that it is true.
For that reason, I am incredibly gullible.

My belief in the written word has subconsciously expanded over time. This has been carefully taught to me by marketing experts trying to sell products and/or services. I've been taught to consider the possibility that x, y, or z is true because there is a 100% money back guarantee! This had broadened my mind and eliminated my need to look for the "fiction" label.

Several experiences of learning first hand that what was written was not true has made me question many hard-fast beliefs I've had throughout my life.
If someone can write and publish a lie, how can I be sure this written word I'm reading now is true? Or what I have read?
I generally want to believe what is written, but my experienced brain argues that I am being swayed by lies.

Advertisements that show/tell about topics that are emotionally close to me evoke a response to take action. To avoid x, y, or z. Or, to do this or that to achieve this result. To give money to this subject to achieve this improved outcome. And so on.

My brain gets carried away with the overload of information about these things. I become even more carried away with the topics that I choose to look into further or embrace add true.

What's troubling is that trying to research in this day and age typically leads to the use of the Internet. And there is more information there about any topic than can be contained in one book. A lot of the pieces of information available are opposites. One opposes the other frequently.

Which is true?
How can I know?
Am I worse off to ignore this new information that I've found completely?

What if the new information is in opposition to something I believed before?
Shouldn't I search it out (like I constantly question if other people are doing) before coming to a conclusion?
How much time is it going to take to feel as though I've thoroughly researched it?
What happens if I come to a conclusion based on my research and then my sources change their tune?
Can I not allow for the scientific method to take place and accept that something I once believed as fact is now proven inaccurate?

This idea plagues on my conscience.
What if I told somebody about it before, but now what I said is a lie or only partially true?

I've been taught to be honest in all dealings with my fellow man.

How can I be with the limited information I have based on the amount of personal research I've done on it? What if I misread it? What if what I read is a lie altogether??

This is all so overwhelming to me.

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